The Holidays are tough for everyone. When you add addiction to the everyday stress it can be overwhelming. The number one tip that I have is about expectations. I don’t know about you but when the Holidays come I have this picture in my mind of how everything will turn out. Before I realize it I have a picture in my mind that would be tough for a major motion picture to produce.
I just know the gift I bought my husband is going to make his year! The gravy recipe I found is sure to get my mother in law to say ” Omg this is the best gravy!” The Holiday cheer will definitely make my two aunts that hate each other at least hold their tongues.
When the big day arrives it never fails that someone else gives my husband that gift I was so excited about and my gravy was a big hit but my mother in law decides to start her first diet and gravy is not ok- but chocolate pie her sister brings will be ok. The two aunts don’t make it into the house because my aunt Sara attacked her sister in the driveway and they both wound up in jail.
Now I am a mess because the reality of my Holiday doesn’t fit my expectations. Sounds obvious but it’s a big issue this time of year.
When addiction in our lives, whether it’s us or our loved ones we just need to thank God we are here and able to enjoy the day. We need to laugh at the crazy we call family and realize that these people are what’s important not some fantasy.
This year let’s just have realistic expectations that things are going to be messy. That is the way life is. If we get too caught up in the fantasy of the Holidays we put ourselves at risk of undue stress and our loved ones as well. If you are the addict you don’t need that. If your loved one is, then they definitely don’t need to feel pressure to be picture-perfect when they might be struggling to make it through the day.
So let’s operate from love this year. If you have someone in your family that is using think about inviting them to Holiday events anyway. Be prepared for them to say no or be late but that is ok. The main thing is that they know they are loved. Sometimes that is the best gift you can give.