This is the question that every parent of an addict desperately wants to know. The answer to the question is that it didn’t have to be your kid, it just was. It was the luck or unluck of genetics and circumstance.
Your child didn’t decide, you know what…I think I want to be an addict when I grow up instead of a doctor. They didn’t sit in their bed and fantasize about being dope sick the way little girls dream about their weddings. Not one addict I know had a set plan to steal from their families and destroying relationships the way a teenager plans for college.
It is a disease. Some people cannot use socially the way others can. So maybe in high school or college, you tried coke or pills, but you didn’t do it every day after. Someone with the disease of addiction cannot do that. They might start their disease with something like Xanax or a pot only to graduate to pain meds, heroin or meth. They might do them all.
Parents need to remember that just because their child is an addict doesn’t mean they don’t love you and that you did something wrong. It just means that your child can’t do it just once. They didn’t get high alone that first time but more than likely the people they did it with didn’t all become addicts. It really is like the unlucky lotto.
Maybe some of you have guilt because of your own addictions or for something else that happen when your child was growing up. I will tell you that yes, your child may be hurt by some of this and could be using to numb feelings but if they weren’t genetically made up to have this disease they wouldn’t be an addict.
So the next time you start to ask yourself this question or why me if you are the addict. Just remember that it isn’t because you are bad. If you are the parent it most likely wouldn’t have mattered that you worked more than you wished you had or that you gave spankings for punishments. If you are the addict, remember that you are not a bad person. You just can’t use drugs or drink like others. There is no way that you could have known that.
Don’t beat yourself up, is the moral of this story. If your child or loved one is the addict love them and do your best not to shame them. If you are the addict, find some help. The good news is that neither of you are alone and you will find that some of the best people on earth are recovering addicts, so you will be stepping into a fine crowd.