Have you ever felt like a Ministers entire sermon was written perfectly for you? It’s as though someone called him the night before to tell him everything he needed to know to make me sit up and listen.
Until today, I only went to church if my mother really put the pressure on. She attends a very large church and when I go I must admit it is entertaining. They make it a production. Every service is recorded and then showed on tv. They may even have their own channel. Around Louisville, KY the church is teasingly called Six Flags Over Jesus. One Christmas they made it snow on the entire congregation. It was pretty powerful.
Who knows why I struggle with religion. The best guess I have is because I don’t feel worthy. Why would God want to talk to me? Really, why would he? The things that I have done in my life are anything but Godly…
I always wanted to believe.
Staying home the first two years with my youngest was important to me but also could be lonely. One day two young ladies knocked on my door and wanted to pray for me. Normally I would have gently sent them away. I didn’t this time. They came in to pray for me and my family. Sure, why not right, if it works great if it doesn’t no harm no foul. Leaving, they gave me a few pamphlets and said they would be back in a few days. When they returned I let them in, but this time, I had some questions.
I asked how they felt about homosexuals. It wasn’t an issue to them personally but the bible is clear about it. I asked if my son would be welcomed in the church. They said yes but would never be able to enter the Temple. That was enough for me. When they left I told them I wouldn’t be attending church with them.
Several people on this journey of mine have encouraged me to look for God. Some did it without even knowing it. They did it by allowing me into their lives. These people were happy. I thought they were weird. The happiness kept drawing me in, though.
Today, I went to church because I wanted to and I am pretty sure this is a first. The church is beautiful. They took an old Catholic Church and embraced the beauty of the old while gracefully adding some new.
When the minister came out and began to speak, he told us we were beginning a series on Judges in the bible. I had never heard anything like this before. Then as he began to give the sermon it was as though he knew all the questions that had been swirling around in my head for all of these years.
Why would God love me?
Surely, he is disappointed in me, everyone else is.
I haven’t ever confessed any sins or prayed for anything that wasn’t selfish of some nature. I am blessed by so many things yet I have taken them all for granted i
I am blessed by so many things yet I have taken them all for granted.
What would God want with a woman who basically sold her soul for drugs?
He said the God favorite people are the broken. I wish I could use his words, they escape me, but the message was clear. God needs people like me.
This is what they gave us to follow along. The message was powerful. I will add more later. I needed to get as much down as I could.