Where Am I and Who Are You?

Waking up after twenty years can be shocking.  When I look around at certain parts of my life I cannot help but wonder…what the hell was I thinking?  I have been with the same man for twenty-two years.  In other words twenty of those years, I was battling serious opiate and benzo ( Xanax ) addiction.

Since I began tapering I have noticed that one of the things that I definitely made  a mistake continuing this relationship.  It’s no wonder I took so many benzo’s, this guy is an asshole.

Working regular seems to be above him and being a decent person is impossible I guess. What do I do about this?  The only sober time I had in those years was long enough for me to get pregnant, carry the child and until he was two.  So we have a seven-year-old that owns my heart.  The problem is that his father owns his.  I may be paying for this mistake for the rest of my life.  I just pray my son doesn’t pay as well.

Author: Recovery Reports


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