One Little Pill


That one little pill that turned into twenty years of addiction,  my “friend” gave me for a headache. I fantasize about going back in time.  I would run as fast as I can to that younger me. Grab her and shake her. THIS IS BIGGER THAN YOU; I want to scream. The outrage and anger make me shame her, for being so careless and naive. If only she could see me, she would see, the broken soul that I came to be.  She would be shocked and maybe she would think twice about taking that one little pill.

 

That one little pill that turned into two, then three till it was never enough. How did this happen?  Where would I be if there was no headache?  Things would have turned out different for me. One little pill, and twenty years later, there is a demon that lives to control me. It feeds off my shame and devours my guilt. It gives it the power to control me. That little pill has made my life just another sad story. All it took was ONE LITTLE PILL.

Author: Recovery Reports

Recovery

3 thoughts on “One Little Pill”

  1. In my teens I suffered migraines, and codeine (3-methylmorphine) could be easily bought of a shelf back then. I was about 19 when I started taking them, and they stopped the headaches, but pretty soon I needed to take three at a time, then four, then I had to take them more frequently… I lived at home, and one day I went to my mum to ask her if she had any, because I’d run out and I needed them to get rid of my headache, and she said to me “No, you don’t need them because you have a headache, you’ve got a headache because you need them. I think you’re addicted to codeine.”
    I had no idea until she told me. This was over forty years ago, and opiate addiction was rarely spoken of, but my best friend from art college had somehow managed to become addicted to heroin, even though there wasn’t much of it around our way. I was horrified to realize my mum was right. I only saw one option – I stayed home – didn’t go anywhere until I was over the withdrawal. If I had known how bad it would be, I probably would have gone straight out and bought several packs. Luckily I got too ill to make the journey to town by bus.
    So that’s me – an addict too, clean for over forty years.

    Liked by 1 person

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